I am not afraid of death, it's just that I prefer not to be there when it happens.
Haters make you famous.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
It's weird not to be weird.
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.
I'm invisible, can you see me? Yeah? How about tomorrow night?
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
Make money, don't let it make you.
A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.
Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
S_CCESS can't be complete without U.
I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.
You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.
