I am not afraid of death, it's just that I prefer not to be there when it happens.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Love needs to get glasses.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
I love walking in the rain 'cause no one can see me crying.
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
You don't like my opinion, wait until you hear the ones I keep to myself.
When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
He who laughs last didn't get it.
If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
