I am not afraid of death, it's just that I prefer not to be there when it happens.
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
Accept what you can't change and change what you can't accept.
Ran into my ex last week... backed up and ran over his ass again.
Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.
Fear not the weapon, but the hand that wields it.
A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.
Sometimes I look at people and think: That sperm actually won?
Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
