If you can't beat them, taze them.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
I'm a very nice person...but for you I'll make an exception.
I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.
Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter, fun... the best things in life are free.
I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
The world is full of guys, be a man.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
I'm sorry you had bad luck and turned out to be an idiot.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Everyone keeps telling me how fun Angry Birds is, but I've been insulting my parakeet all week and he just seems hurt.
