You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
NO MUM. You're mad because you're wrong not because I was talking back.
You should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
You know you're getting old when people start telling you how young you look.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.
Each morning when we wake up, we have two choices: go back to sleep and keep dreaming, or wake up and chase those dreams.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'
I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
