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You know you love her when people think you're crazy.

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If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.

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The world is full of guys, be a man.

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The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.

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You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.

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If your not going to win the argument, lie.

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Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.

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Cool story bro. Put it in the history books with all the other boring sh*t I don't care about.

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I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

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Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.

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Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.

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Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.

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When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".

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"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."

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A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.

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Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.

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Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.

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"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.

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Cool story bro, changed my life.