You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Life is a case of spoon or be spooned.
Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.
Always remember to smile.
Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow...when I woke up my pillow was gone.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
I have no time for stupid people. But they sure do have time for me.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
I am not afraid of death, it's just that I prefer not to be there when it happens.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
