You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
True friends aren't bought, they are earned.
I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.
I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
Did you just slap my ass? NO!? Damn I was hoping you did.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
Don't judge a book by its movie.
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
The awkward moment when people are complaining about the sizes of their nose when Voldemort's in the room.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
