You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
Everybody spread positivity.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
That awkward moment when it's not okay after an apology.
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
Love needs to get glasses.
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
Don't look back. You'll miss what's in front of you.
WORRY looks around. REGRET looks back. FAITH looks forward.
After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
