Winners don't wait for chances, they grab them.
Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
You don't like my opinion, wait until you hear the ones I keep to myself.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.
You don't need some one to complete you, you just need someone to accept you completely...
Love needs to get glasses.
WORRY looks around. REGRET looks back. FAITH looks forward.
Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.
What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
That awkward moment when it's not okay after an apology.
Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!
