If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
Cool story bro. In what chapter do you shut the fuck up in?
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right man to see it.
You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
