If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
Admit it! At one point in your life you closed the fridge really slowly to see when the light turns off.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
True friends stab you in the front!
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
Everybody is a student for life.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.
Cry over cuts and stitches not bastards and bitches.
Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.
I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
