I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.
The lottery: voluntary taxation.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.
True friends aren't bought, they are earned.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
Love me always, love me never, but don't love me sometimes.
I can only endure saying goodbye because saying hello again will be all the sweeter.
I wish I was as much of a morning person as my penis is.
Everybody spread positivity.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
Two things I hate the most: (1) The new lover of an EX (2) The EX of a new lover.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Until a man finds something to die for, he has nothing to live for.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
