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I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.

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May the bridges I burn today, light the path tomorrow.

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Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.

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The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.

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I went up to my moms face and screamed " I WANT FOOD !!! " Until I got slapped in the face

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Sometimes I look at people and think: That sperm actually won?

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Trust in God but lock your car.

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You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.

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Cool story bro. Put it in the history books with all the other boring sh*t I don't care about.

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The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.

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Physiological fact: emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything else is self inflicted.

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Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.

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If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

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Haters are just confused admirers.

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God must love stupid people. He made SO many.

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Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.

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Winners do what other people won't.

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If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

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Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.