I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
We put the "us" in trust, baby.
It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.
Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Today was a beautiful day. Then you showed up.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
