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I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.

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To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.

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Dreams lift when reality falls.

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Trust in God but lock your car.

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I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.

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Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

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Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.

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I hate when I'm on the couch after a long day, I put the TV on and then my family starts having a competition of who can be the loudest.

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The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.

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I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.

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Physiological fact: emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything else is self inflicted.

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You know you're getting old when people start telling you how young you look.

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Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

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There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.

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Face your problems, don't facebook them.

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Winners do what other people won't.

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If you're good at something, don't do it for free.