I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
Did you just slap my ass? NO!? Damn I was hoping you did.
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
F that B.
S_CCESS can't be complete without U.
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
Born to be different, like everyone else.
