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I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.

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Negativity is poison for the soul.

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I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.

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Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.

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A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.

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Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.

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I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?

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I can only endure saying goodbye because saying hello again will be all the sweeter.

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Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.

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Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.

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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

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We are bestfriends. Always remember that when you fall, I'll pick you up. After I finish laughing.

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Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.

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Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.

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You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.

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Face your problems, don't facebook them.

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Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.

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The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.

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I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.