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Sadly some boys think of girls as books; If the cover doesn't catch their eye they don't bother to read whats inside.

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Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.

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If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.

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It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.

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Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.

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Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

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I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.

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It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.

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WORRY looks around. REGRET looks back. FAITH looks forward.

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If you text me first, it's your job to keep the conversation going!

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Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.

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I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

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Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

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If you're good at something, don't do it for free.

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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

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Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.

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Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?

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Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.

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I hate when I walk into a room, forget what I need, walk out and then remember.