Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
Women don't want to hear what you think, women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.
Haters hate because they are what you ain't.
A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.
