Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
Perception is everything.
Wild hearts can't be broken.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.
You live and you learn.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.
If at first you don't succeed..... CHEAT!
When we hit our lowest point, We are open to the greatest changes.
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
