Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.
You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?
When we hit our lowest point, We are open to the greatest changes.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
Ran into my ex last week... backed up and ran over his ass again.
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.
