Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
Love is just a word, until someone comes along and gives it meaning.
I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right man to see it.
Life is a case of spoon or be spooned.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
Be man enough to accept the consequences, be child enough to do it anyway.
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.
