Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.
Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.
Haters are just confused admirers.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
If at first you don't succeed..... CHEAT!
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
Did you just slap my ass? NO!? Damn I was hoping you did.
God made opposites. He made heaven and hell, darkness and light. He made me smart, and you....
I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
Wild hearts can't be broken.
I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
