Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
We are bestfriends. Always remember that when you fall, I'll pick you up. After I finish laughing.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
Until a man finds something to die for, he has nothing to live for.
If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.
If we're not supposed to have late night snacks....why is there a light in the fridge?
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
Don't hate me because I'm better than you, hate yourself because you're not as good as me.
Be positive for no reason.
So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
Haters hate because they are what you ain't.
