I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.
You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.
Haters are just confused admirers.
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
Shit happens bro. Now get over it.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
