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I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.

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The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.

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Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.

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Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.

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If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.

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Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.

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Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.

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Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?

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The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.

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Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.

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Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.

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Cool story bro. Put it in the history books with all the other boring sh*t I don't care about.

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Everybody spread positivity.

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Shit happens bro. Now get over it.

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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.

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The awkward moment when someones yelling at you and your desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.

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You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

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If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.

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I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.