I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
The lottery: voluntary taxation.
I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you.
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
I will love you until the end. If you feel that I don't love you, this is just the beginning.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That is why they call it the present.
Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.
Regret lasts longer than fear.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
