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"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."

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I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.

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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

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I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.

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A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.

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Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them a second bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.

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Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.

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If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.

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Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter, fun... the best things in life are free.

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That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.

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If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

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Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.

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You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.

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I hate when I walk into a room, forget what I need, walk out and then remember.

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You can pay for school, but you can't buy class.

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You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.