"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.
It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
