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That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.

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You know you love her when people think you're crazy.

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Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.

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It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.

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I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.

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Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge, trust me, it hurts less.

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I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.

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I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?

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The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.

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When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.

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I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.

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Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.

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Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.

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Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.

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I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.

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When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.

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If you can't convince them, confuse them.

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That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...

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That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.