That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge, trust me, it hurts less.
I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.
When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.
Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.
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