Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
Negativity is poison for the soul.
Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them a second bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Some take the bait, others reel it in.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
If at first you don't succeed..... CHEAT!
It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
We are bestfriends. Always remember that when you fall, I'll pick you up. After I finish laughing.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
