Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
You live and you learn.
Here's a condom so that you can have protection while you go fuck yourself. :)
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
The awkward moment when Edward and Santa bump into each other in your room because they're both watching you sleep.
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
Patience gets you everywhere on time.
Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.
Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
