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Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.

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Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.

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I'm not getting drunk. I'm getting awesome.

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You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.

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Two things I hate the most: (1) The new lover of an EX (2) The EX of a new lover.

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I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.

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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

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It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

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Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!

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Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.

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You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.

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My grandma is 80 and she still doesn't need glasses... she drinks straight out of the bottle.

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I have no time for stupid people. But they sure do have time for me.

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I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.

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"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.

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Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.

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Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.

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I need a six month holiday, twice a year.