Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.
Don't judge a book by its movie.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
Lifes a bitch....so when life sucks just sit back and enjoy the head.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
Take it easy, give it hard.
Wherever you go, there you are.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
