Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
I'm not spoiled, I'm just well taken care of.
Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
If I don't answer your first call, calling me 39971629829202 times won't make me pick up.
If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
I really need you to, put the camera down and step away from the mirror.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.
