Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.
Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow...when I woke up my pillow was gone.
Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
Sometimes I look at people and think: That sperm actually won?
I'm invisible, can you see me? Yeah? How about tomorrow night?
Chuck Norris has three types of laundry...whites, darks and blood stained.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
You can't define love, but love can define you.
No one said it would be easy but I'm saying it's going to be worth it.
My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.
Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
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