Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
The greatest part of being imperfect, is being perfect at it.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?
Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.
No one said it would be easy but I'm saying it's going to be worth it.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.
Lifes a bitch....so when life sucks just sit back and enjoy the head.
Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.
Accept what you can't change and change what you can't accept.
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
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