Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
If you're good at something, don't do it for free.
I'm experiencing Deja Vu and Amnesia at the same time... I think I've forgotten this before...
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
I want to go to Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
Lifes a bitch....so when life sucks just sit back and enjoy the head.
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