Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?
If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.
Everybody spread positivity.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of bill payments.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
Giving up does not always mean you're weak, sometimes it just means your strong enough to let go.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
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