Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.
I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.
Be man enough to accept the consequences, be child enough to do it anyway.
I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.
I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.
I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.
Sneaking your seatbelt on slowly when you see a cop.
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
© 2016 EpicQuotes |