Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them a second bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.
Perception is everything.
"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
Today was a beautiful day. Then you showed up.
Fall in love with my mind.
I'm invisible, can you see me? Yeah? How about tomorrow night?
Baby, I treat you like my homework, I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long.
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.
Make money, don't let it make you.
I'm not addicted to Twitter. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.
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