Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.
Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
You can pay for school, but you can't buy class.
We are bestfriends. Always remember that when you fall, I'll pick you up. After I finish laughing.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.
Negativity is poison for the soul.
Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter, fun... the best things in life are free.
You don't have to understand to be understanding.
If your life is so shitty maybe you should wipe your ass better.
Real eyes realize real lies.
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
Fight poverty. Throw stones at beggers.
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
I hate when I walk into a room, forget what I need, walk out and then remember.
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