Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.
That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
When life throws a rock at you, throw back a brick.
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.
Born to be different, like everyone else.
Fear not the weapon, but the hand that wields it.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
I knew I was in love when all those stupid love songs started to make sense.
Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.
If you're good at something, don't do it for free.
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