Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.
A girl looks at what a man drives. A woman looks at what drives a man.
If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.
A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.
Ran into my ex last week... backed up and ran over his ass again.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
When we hit our lowest point, We are open to the greatest changes.
Haters hate because they are what you ain't.
If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
