Cool story bro, changed my life.
I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
Fight poverty. Throw stones at beggers.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.
I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
You can pay for school, but you can't buy class.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
I wish I was as much of a morning person as my penis is.
Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.
When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.
Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
