Cool story bro, changed my life.
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.
Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
Don't look back. You'll miss what's in front of you.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
Fight poverty. Throw stones at beggers.
I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.
