Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.
It is true that there is no "I" in team. But there is an "I" in win.
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.
Winners don't wait for chances, they grab them.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.
I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
