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Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.

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There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.

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Everyone keeps telling me how fun Angry Birds is, but I've been insulting my parakeet all week and he just seems hurt.

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Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.

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Each morning when we wake up, we have two choices: go back to sleep and keep dreaming, or wake up and chase those dreams.

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God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.

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I'm experiencing Deja Vu and Amnesia at the same time... I think I've forgotten this before...

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Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.

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Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.

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Perception is everything.

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We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

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I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.

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Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.

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There are two kinds of secrets: one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep.

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Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.

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When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

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Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.

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Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.

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After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.