Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
I'm not addicted to Twitter. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.
I'm invisible, can you see me? Yeah? How about tomorrow night?
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help, So I hired a hitman.
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
