Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.
I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.
That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.
11.24265336624% of people pay too much attention to details.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
If you aren't good at lying, you better be good at keeping secrets.
I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.
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