Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
It's weird not to be weird.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.