Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
If you're good at something, don't do it for free.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
A girl looks at what a man drives. A woman looks at what drives a man.
Ohh, that sounds kinda harsh. I better add a 'lol'.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
That awkward moment when it's not okay after an apology.
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
S_CCESS can't be complete without U.
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.
Everyone keeps telling me how fun Angry Birds is, but I've been insulting my parakeet all week and he just seems hurt.
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.