Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
Trust in God but lock your car.
Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
I'm invisible, can you see me? Yeah? How about tomorrow night?
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
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I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.
A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
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