Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
WORRY looks around. REGRET looks back. FAITH looks forward.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Sadly some boys think of girls as books; If the cover doesn't catch their eye they don't bother to read whats inside.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.
I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.