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Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.

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The awkward moment when Edward and Santa bump into each other in your room because they're both watching you sleep.

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Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.

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Your character is more accurately determined by what you say about others behind their backs.

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Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

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It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.

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Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.

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Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.

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Did you just slap my ass? NO!? Damn I was hoping you did.

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You should never ruin an apology with an excuse.

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Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them a second bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.

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Some take the bait, others reel it in.

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Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.

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If you can't beat them, taze them.

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Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.

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Haters are just confused admirers.

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I miss you like an idiot misses the point.

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You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.

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The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.