Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.
The awkward moment when someones yelling at you and your desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
If we only attempt that which we are capable of doing, we will never grow.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
Love needs to get glasses.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
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