Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
The lottery: voluntary taxation.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
Physiological fact: emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything else is self inflicted.
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.
I'm invisible, can you see me? Yeah? How about tomorrow night?
Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
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