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Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

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The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.

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I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.

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The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.

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There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

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Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.

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Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.

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Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.

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If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.

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A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.

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The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.

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Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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Giving up does not always mean you're weak, sometimes it just means your strong enough to let go.

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Admit it! At one point in your life you closed the fridge really slowly to see when the light turns off.

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You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.

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In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.

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God made opposites. He made heaven and hell, darkness and light. He made me smart, and you....