Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".
Until a man finds something to die for, he has nothing to live for.
There are two kinds of secrets: one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you.
If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.