Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.
Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.
I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
We put the "us" in trust, baby.
The world is a fucked up place. You fit right in.
Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right man to see it.
I hate when I walk into a room, forget what I need, walk out and then remember.
When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
Real eyes realize real lies.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
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