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Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.

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This duct tape makes everything you say sound like "yes".

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Everybody thinks that a girl's dream is to find the perfect guy. Yeah right, our dream is to EAT WITHOUT GETTING FAT!

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That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...

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That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.

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The awkward moment when people are complaining about the sizes of their nose when Voldemort's in the room.

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When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.

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Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

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Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.

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To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!

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Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.

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Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.

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It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.

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Take it easy, give it hard.

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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.

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Don't allow someone to be your priorty while allowing yourself to be there option.

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The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.

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Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.