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Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.

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If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.

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The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

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Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?

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Winners don't wait for chances, they grab them.

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Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.

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Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.

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Trust in God but lock your car.

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Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

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When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."

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I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

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I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.

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When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.

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You do not learn anything by doing everything right.

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My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.

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I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.

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My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.

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When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.

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I hate when I walk into a room, forget what I need, walk out and then remember.