When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Sometimes I look at people and think: That sperm actually won?
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?
Some take the bait, others reel it in.
