When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.
Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.
The greatest part of being imperfect, is being perfect at it.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
I'm not spoiled, I'm just well taken care of.
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.
That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
If you're good at something, don't do it for free.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
Be positive for no reason.
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
