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When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.

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Regret lasts longer than fear.

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Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men.

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Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.

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I hate when I'm on the couch after a long day, I put the TV on and then my family starts having a competition of who can be the loudest.

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I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

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Good things don't always have to come to an end.

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Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesnt happen again.

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If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.

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Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.

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24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.

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When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".

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A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.

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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

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Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.

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You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.

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Cry over cuts and stitches not bastards and bitches.

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Some take the bait, others reel it in.