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When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.

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How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes

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Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

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Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.

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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

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Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.

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Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.

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Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?

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My brain: 5% names, 3% phone numbers, 2% stuff I should know for school, 90% song lyrics.

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I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.

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You said what you said and you said what you said, so what you said is what you said.

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You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.

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Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.

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I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.

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My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.

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I'm experiencing Deja Vu and Amnesia at the same time... I think I've forgotten this before...

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If I don't answer your first call, calling me 39971629829202 times won't make me pick up.

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Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

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If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.