When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
Know one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Life isn't about staying dry, it's about learning how to play in the rain.
Here's a condom so that you can have protection while you go fuck yourself. :)
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Take it easy, give it hard.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
