When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Good things don't always have to come to an end.
Fall in love with my mind.
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I'd take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of bill payments.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.
Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.
Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.
I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
