Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things that women remember.
You live and you learn.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
A girl looks at what a man drives. A woman looks at what drives a man.
Shit happens bro. Now get over it.
If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
