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The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.

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I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.

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Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.

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Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.

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That awkward moment when it's not okay after an apology.

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The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.

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Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.

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You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.

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Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.

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Nice shoes! Wanna screw?

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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

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Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.

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I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.

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Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.

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I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.

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Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.

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If your not going to win the argument, lie.

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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I went up to my moms face and screamed " I WANT FOOD !!! " Until I got slapped in the face