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The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.

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To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.

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The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

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Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.

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The lottery: voluntary taxation.

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I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

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Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.

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Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.

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KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.

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My brain: 5% names, 3% phone numbers, 2% stuff I should know for school, 90% song lyrics.

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Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.

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Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!

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Each morning when we wake up, we have two choices: go back to sleep and keep dreaming, or wake up and chase those dreams.

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You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.

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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

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Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.

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A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.

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Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.

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When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.