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I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.

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Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

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I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.

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Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.

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I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

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Some people should be high-fived...in the face.

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Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.

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I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.

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Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.

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Everybody is a student for life.

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If at first you don't succeed..... CHEAT!

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If your not going to win the argument, lie.

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When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".

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Cool story bro. In what chapter do you shut the fuck up in?

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Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.

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It's weird not to be weird.

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Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.

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Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.

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If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives.