I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
Born to be different, like everyone else.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.
If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.
Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
You should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
Life is a case of spoon or be spooned.
