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I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.

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Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."

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Women don't want to hear what you think, women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice.

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Hurting someone with the truth is better than killing them with a lie.

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God must love stupid people. He made SO many.

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If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'

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Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.

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If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.

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The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.

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The notion that you feel my pain is extremely uncertain. You have to apply the experience and pain of my life in order to come to this road.

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"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.

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I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.

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I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.

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It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.

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When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.

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I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.

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I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.

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A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.

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You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.