I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge, trust me, it hurts less.
My biggest mistake is not kissing you when I had the chance.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.
So my life has reached the point where I've stopped asking "Why me!?" and started asking "Oh, again?"
