I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
I knew I was in love when all those stupid love songs started to make sense.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help, So I hired a hitman.
A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.
You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
Born to be different, like everyone else.
Don't allow someone to be your priorty while allowing yourself to be there option.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesnt happen again.
