In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
Giving up does not always mean you're weak, sometimes it just means your strong enough to let go.
My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
Physiological fact: emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything else is self inflicted.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'
I'm a very nice person...but for you I'll make an exception.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
Life is a bitch, but totally do-able.
Everyone keeps telling me how fun Angry Birds is, but I've been insulting my parakeet all week and he just seems hurt.
The smile is every woman's sexiest curve.
