In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Be positive for no reason.
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
Be man enough to accept the consequences, be child enough to do it anyway.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.
Until a man finds something to die for, he has nothing to live for.
Everybody spread positivity.
When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.
Trust in God but lock your car.
Don't hate me because I'm better than you, hate yourself because you're not as good as me.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.
Life is a bitch, but totally do-able.
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.
