Sneaking your seatbelt on slowly when you see a cop.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
S_CCESS can't be complete without U.
You can pay for school, but you can't buy class.
Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter, fun... the best things in life are free.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.
You should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
