Sneaking your seatbelt on slowly when you see a cop.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Life is a bitch, but totally do-able.
You're only as good as your last game.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.
F that B.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.
