Sneaking your seatbelt on slowly when you see a cop.
I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.
I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water, yeah that means never.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
Today was a beautiful day. Then you showed up.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
