I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
I'm invisible, can you see me? Yeah? How about tomorrow night?
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.
You know you're getting old when people start telling you how young you look.
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
You said what you said and you said what you said, so what you said is what you said.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
Accept what you can't change and change what you can't accept.
Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter then you.
You can pay for school, but you can't buy class.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.
You can't define love, but love can define you.
