I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.
I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
Trust in God but lock your car.
Winners do what other people won't.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.
My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
I went up to my moms face and screamed " I WANT FOOD !!! " Until I got slapped in the face
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
Playing comes first, you can work later.
I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
