He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.
Women don't want to hear what you think, women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of bill payments.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
Some take the bait, others reel it in.
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
I'm invisible, can you see me? Yeah? How about tomorrow night?
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.
True friends aren't bought, they are earned.
A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
