He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
Cry over cuts and stitches not bastards and bitches.
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
Wherever you go, there you are.
I'm not getting drunk. I'm getting awesome.
The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.
Did you just slap my ass? NO!? Damn I was hoping you did.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
That awkward moment when sluts wear clothes.
We just have to accept the fact that some people are going to stay in our hearts....even if they don't stay in our lives.
So my life has reached the point where I've stopped asking "Why me!?" and started asking "Oh, again?"
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
The awkward moment when people are complaining about the sizes of their nose when Voldemort's in the room.
