He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
Sadly some boys think of girls as books; If the cover doesn't catch their eye they don't bother to read whats inside.
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.
If you're good at something, don't do it for free.
Love me always, love me never, but don't love me sometimes.
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
Treat every problem as your dog would: If you can't eat it, fuck it or piss on it, then walk away.
You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.
Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.
Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
