He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.
I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Hello substitute teacher... Goodbye assigned seats.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of bill payments.
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
The smile is every woman's sexiest curve.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
