F that B.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
Admit it! At one point in your life you closed the fridge really slowly to see when the light turns off.
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.
