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Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.

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I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.

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Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.

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How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?

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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

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Your character is more accurately determined by what you say about others behind their backs.

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Winners do what other people won't.

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Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.

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2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.

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I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.

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Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.

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Face your problems, don't facebook them.

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Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

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The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.

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I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.

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Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

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I swear to drunk I'm not god.

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Sadly some boys think of girls as books; If the cover doesn't catch their eye they don't bother to read whats inside.

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"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."