Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.
Real eyes realize real lies.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
I hate when I walk into a room, forget what I need, walk out and then remember.
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
Here's a condom so that you can have protection while you go fuck yourself. :)
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
I'm not getting drunk. I'm getting awesome.
Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.
Know one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
Baby, I treat you like my homework, I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long.
I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.
