Know one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care.
When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.
Everybody spread positivity.
I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.
NO MUM. You're mad because you're wrong not because I was talking back.
Until a man finds something to die for, he has nothing to live for.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
I swear Mario is a hobo! he wakes up wearing the same clothes, runs in sewers, and steals coins. To buy what. MUSHROOMS?
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.
When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
Some take the bait, others reel it in.
Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.
