Know one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
If most people said what was on their minds, they'd be speechless.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
Love me always, love me never, but don't love me sometimes.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.
Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.
The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.
Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
I don't have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
