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Wherever you go, there you are.

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Everybody is a student for life.

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Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.

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Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you.

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I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.

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I put the laughter in manslaughter.

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That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.

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I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.

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Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.

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When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.

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Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.

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Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.

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Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.

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Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.

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Everyone keeps telling me how fun Angry Birds is, but I've been insulting my parakeet all week and he just seems hurt.

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If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

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Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.

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Women don't want to hear what you think, women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice.

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I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.