Wherever you go, there you are.
Chuck Norris has three types of laundry...whites, darks and blood stained.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.
If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.
Life is a case of spoon or be spooned.
Hello substitute teacher... Goodbye assigned seats.
Haters make you famous.
If at first you don't succeed..... CHEAT!
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.
I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.
If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
