Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
No one said it would be easy but I'm saying it's going to be worth it.
Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
The awkward moment when someones yelling at you and your desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.
Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.
Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.
After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.
You should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.
