To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
Wherever you go, there you are.
Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesnt happen again.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
You live and you learn.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That is why they call it the present.
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
Love needs to get glasses.
I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.
The lottery: voluntary taxation.
