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My brain: 5% names, 3% phone numbers, 2% stuff I should know for school, 90% song lyrics.

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The world is a fucked up place. You fit right in.

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Haters hate because they are what you ain't.

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Fall in love with my mind.

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After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.

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We are bestfriends. Always remember that when you fall, I'll pick you up. After I finish laughing.

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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

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I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.

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Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.

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Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.

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Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.

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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

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Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.

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I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.

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When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.

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I hate when I walk into a room, forget what I need, walk out and then remember.

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Don't hate me because I'm better than you, hate yourself because you're not as good as me.

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You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

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Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.