Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water, yeah that means never.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
Life isn't about staying dry, it's about learning how to play in the rain.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Fucking act like it.
