I love walking in the rain 'cause no one can see me crying.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
Everybody thinks that a girl's dream is to find the perfect guy. Yeah right, our dream is to EAT WITHOUT GETTING FAT!
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
If you got haters, you must be doing something right.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
I'm sorry you had bad luck and turned out to be an idiot.
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
Perception is everything.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.
The greatest part of being imperfect, is being perfect at it.
