Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
Cry over cuts and stitches not bastards and bitches.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
Make money, don't let it make you.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.
I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
