Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.
A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
The notion that you feel my pain is extremely uncertain. You have to apply the experience and pain of my life in order to come to this road.
The greatest part of being imperfect, is being perfect at it.
Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.
The awkward moment when Edward and Santa bump into each other in your room because they're both watching you sleep.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
