Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.
Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
Don't hate me because I'm better than you, hate yourself because you're not as good as me.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Know one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care.
When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.
Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
Until a man finds something to die for, he has nothing to live for.
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
