Love is just a word, until someone comes along and gives it meaning.
11.24265336624% of people pay too much attention to details.
The awkward moment when people are complaining about the sizes of their nose when Voldemort's in the room.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.
Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of bill payments.
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
S_CCESS can't be complete without U.
If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.
Hurting someone with the truth is better than killing them with a lie.
I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.
