I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
Always remember to smile.
Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
Winners do what other people won't.
Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
May the bridges I burn today, light the path tomorrow.
Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them a second bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
