I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.
Everybody spread positivity.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
It is true that there is no "I" in team. But there is an "I" in win.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
We just have to accept the fact that some people are going to stay in our hearts....even if they don't stay in our lives.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
If you aren't good at lying, you better be good at keeping secrets.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
My brain: 5% names, 3% phone numbers, 2% stuff I should know for school, 90% song lyrics.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
Sometimes I look at people and think: That sperm actually won?
I really need you to, put the camera down and step away from the mirror.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
