I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
I knew I was in love when all those stupid love songs started to make sense.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.
I don't have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel.
Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
I'm not spoiled, I'm just well taken care of.
If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.
If you're good at something, don't do it for free.
Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
