The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
The notion that you feel my pain is extremely uncertain. You have to apply the experience and pain of my life in order to come to this road.
Don't allow someone to be your priorty while allowing yourself to be there option.
Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
Everyone keeps telling me how fun Angry Birds is, but I've been insulting my parakeet all week and he just seems hurt.
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
God made opposites. He made heaven and hell, darkness and light. He made me smart, and you....
Make money, don't let it make you.
Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
