The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.
That awkward moment when it's not okay after an apology.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them a second bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.
If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.
Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge, trust me, it hurts less.
You can pay for school, but you can't buy class.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
