Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
Born to be different, like everyone else.
Always remember to smile.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.
I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.
Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right man to see it.
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
Don't wait for anybody to complete you.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
