Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.
I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water, yeah that means never.
The world is a fucked up place. You fit right in.
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
A girl looks at what a man drives. A woman looks at what drives a man.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.
My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
Haters are just confused admirers.
Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right man to see it.
You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.
