Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
The lottery: voluntary taxation.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
We put the "us" in trust, baby.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.
If most people said what was on their minds, they'd be speechless.
Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
History always has a way of repeating itself, bad or good, a perfect circle.
Fall in love with my mind.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
