You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
Shit happens bro. Now get over it.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow...when I woke up my pillow was gone.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.
Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Did you just slap my ass? NO!? Damn I was hoping you did.
So my life has reached the point where I've stopped asking "Why me!?" and started asking "Oh, again?"
You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
