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You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

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If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.

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When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.

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If we're not supposed to have late night snacks....why is there a light in the fridge?

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I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.

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I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help, So I hired a hitman.

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War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

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Regret lasts longer than fear.

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Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.

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When we hit our lowest point, We are open to the greatest changes.

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Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

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A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.

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Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.

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I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.

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Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.

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Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right man to see it.

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I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

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Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.

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Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.