A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
The last thing I want to do is die.
"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
The world is a fucked up place. You fit right in.
Regret lasts longer than fear.
Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter, fun... the best things in life are free.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
