A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
Real eyes realize real lies.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.
Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.
When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
I'm not getting drunk. I'm getting awesome.
Lifes a bitch....so when life sucks just sit back and enjoy the head.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
A girl looks at what a man drives. A woman looks at what drives a man.
Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.
You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.
Sometimes I look at people and think: That sperm actually won?
