A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.
Trust in God but lock your car.
Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.
The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.
Shit happens bro. Now get over it.
