A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.
Always remember to smile.
Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.
I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.
Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.
